How Past Sexual Abuse Has Affected Intimacy In My Marriage

I just read an article titled "How Past Sexual Abuse Has Affected Intimacy In My Marriage" and it was so helpful. As some of you may know, my past before marriage was filled with different types of sexual assaults from rape to unwanted touching. My first assault was done when I was only 3 or 4 and the last was only 2 years before meeting my now wonderful husband and that one was the worse one ever and I have yet to heal fully from what happened. Yes, both my past and my husband's past has greatly affected our marriage but our Lord is great and continuing the work he began in us both. The Elders at our church are aware of our struggles and pray for us, we also pray for and with each other.  This little paragraph pretty much sums up my biggest struggle She says: "I still struggle with fear of failure, of expectation. In my own mind, if I feel that I am supposed to deliver on demand or that a romantic dinner is going to automatically lead to an exciting night of intimacy, I psych myself out. Instantly I am not the one in control and my fears are triggered again. There is a lack of trust within me that affects not only my intimate relationship with my husband, but also with God." But I am encouraged for I know that the other statement she made in this article is true and that is that "God wants us to be free. Free to experience intimacy in our relationship with our husbands, and that our enemy desperately wants to prevent this from happening."

Be of Good Courage and do not lose hope if you are in a similar circumstance. We are still wrestling with a few things but we definitely see God's hand working and healing.

To Read the Actual article CLICK HERE