Tears Of Joy!

As you all know, my past sin of fornication tore my husband's heart apart when we were courting. He felt defraud and helpless. The Lord had to strengthen him and help him love me in spite of it all. The gospel was his help, remembering what Christ had done for him along with confessing to the Lord his bitterness and how though he knew the Gospel, he still found it hard to love me.

On my wedding day, I walked down the isle in faith, hoping in the Lord to fully restore Tyrell so that he may love me as God loves the Church. Trusting in the faithfulness of the Lord, I said I do making a commitment to love him until death no matter what.

 I walked down the isle smiling yet filled with questions. Tyrell was smiling, I didn't understand why. I didn't feel beautiful, I didn't feel worthy but I knew that what I was getting ready to do was what I felt God desired of me. I hoped that Ty would heal and love me and my hope was my comfort. I was to shy to look at him and terrified to embrace him for the first time.

We married in obedience to the Lord, knowing that the road would be hard but trusting Him nevertheless. Saturday, June 9th 2012, months after our marriage, we somehow ended up talking about how he views me. His struggle in our courtship was elevating my sin above my redemption and having a hard time seeing me as something to be prized. I thought he still struggled with that. While talking, tears ran down my face and my heart was exposed and he saw the hurt and broken due to what I believed. He gently got up grabbed his journal and began to read to me. It was titled:

"October 29th 2011-The day my life changes forever-marriage"

 It was 1:49am when he wrote it. He wrote about how thankful he was to have me as a wife, he wrote about how much he treasured me and wanted no other. The entry is filled with praises to the Lord for all he had done. Most importantly MY HUSBAND WAS GLORYING IN THE CROSS!!!!!!! HE SAW ME AS A NEW CREATURE! I WAS PRIZED IN HIS SIGHT BECAUSE OF WHAT JESUS CHRIST HAD DONE! It answered my questions and showed me that the smile he had on his face was genuine, my prayer and hope had already been answered. My groom delighted in me and couldn't wait to love me with his life. I was in tears! God answered my prayer months ago and I had no idea! Praise the Lord for His faithfulness in redeeming. I cannot thank God enough. My husband's heart races at the thought of me, he delights in me! Praise God!