Hebrews 12:1-2

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God's throne.

 Confused? Let me explain. At the age of 13 I begged my mother to perm my hair so that I could be like everyone else at school. After that I worshiped self and was consumed me the desire to be loved and accepted in other words worshiped by my peers. I wanted to seduce men with my hair and body and stir in envy in the hearts of women so that they would wish they were like me. I was very proud and took pleasure in vain things that lead straight to hell. Praise God almighty for snatching me from that path and placing me on this hard and narrow road that leads to life for His name's sake. After Salvation, I continued to perm my hair and don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that perming your hair is sinful. Every time I got a perm, there was the temptation to get in that mindset again. I wanted to be noticed, I wondered whether or not others were envious, if other men noticed and were moved just silly stuff. After I met my husband, he encouraged me to go natural not because he knew of my struggle but just because he was curious about what my natural hair texture was. I agreed, thought it would be fun and so did it. The months after that were the MOST HUMBLING MONTHS OF MY LIFE!!! I woke in the morning and I couldn't just pull my hair up or brush my hair and go out. It took a long time every morning to tame my hair and make it some what presentable before heading out. It was torture, I felt so ugly and unkept. I was embarrassed no longer had my head held up and my back straight longing for the attention of others who I would pass by I was instead wishing I was invisible and was shocked everytime a person addressed me publically. During that time I was also learning about modesty and how my clothes shouldn't expose my frame but cover it so I was looking a mess most days. Not knowing what to wear and definitely not knowing what to do with my hair! Later on that year 2011 it was time for Tyrell and I to marry and so after after 6 months of persevering I gave up and got a perm so that I would feel/look "beautiful" on my wedding day. Too bad I took my insecurities down the isle with me. I had the make up on, a nice dress, my permed hair and yet felt ugly. As the ceremony went on I saw Tyrell and was consumed with anxiety as we prepared to kiss for the first time. Thinking about standing at the altar still makes my heart race with panic as I ponder on the reality that we had to do that publically. Anyway, after the wedding I vowed not to get another perm. I continued with God's help and began to embrace this new life our Lord was calling me to. Over time, I learned to focus on serving our Lord and of course submitting to my husband. It was a very hard and long road but I learned alot about what it means to be a woman of a meek and quiet spirit. I also learned that we women can be loud without opening our lips. We can be loud with the way we carry ourselves, the clothes we wear, the way we do our hair, our make up and so much more. After examining myself and repenting, I finally cut all my permed hair on December 11th 2012. I'm really grateful for God's patience and my husband's support through this transition. I'm learning more about modesty and what to wear to look presentable. I'm also learning what true beauty is and what being meek looks and feels like. Yes there were times I broke down but this was so worth it. Throwing off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, so that I could run the race marked out for me. Not sure what you guys may be facing or struggling with but I encourage you to examine your hearts, pray and lay aside every weight that slows you down, especially the sin that so easily trips you up. 

Be Blessed family!

November 6, 2012

3 Months! ^_^

Birth Control

Coming from a Roman Catholic background, I tend to look at my sisters' lives see them doing something good like having a natural birth and making it a law that I must follow in order to glorify and honor the Lord. I find myself constantly in chains, entangled in laws I've placed on myself. Our Lord, so faithful and merciful continually points this out to me and shows me the idolatry in my heart. As you all know my husband and I have been convicted about birth control since before we were married, by the grace of God we were with child soon after we married. The Lord in His wisdom saw it fit to allow us to have a C-section and as a result we were told not to have children for at least 18 months. We now use a method of birth control and it hasn't been easy. The enemy never ceases to labor and my husband and I have to constantly wrestle against condemnation and much more. Not sure what the Lord is doing but looking forward to learning more about the will of God concerning our family size. We don't know whether it is something we ought to surrender to Him or our responsibility to plan as a couple. It's all so confusing. We're still reading the word and praying. Lord willing He will answer our cry soon.

Simple White Cake

(Recipe I found online, haven't tried it yet :)

1 cup white sugar

1/2 cup butter

2 eggs

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

1 3/4 teaspoons baking powder

1/2 cup milk

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease and flour a 9x9 inch pan or line a muffin pan with paper liners.

2. In a medium bowl, cream together the sugar and butter. Beat in the eggs, one at a time, then stir in the vanilla. Combine flour and baking powder, add to the creamed mixture and mix well. Finally stir in the milk until batter is smooth. Pour or spoon batter into the prepared pan.

3. Bake for 30 to 40 minutes in the preheated oven. For cupcakes, bake 20 to 25 minutes. Cake is done when it springs back to the touch.

Self-Control

Do you have a hard time receiving correction? Do you find yourrself frustrated, lashing out and lacking self-control?

Here is an amazing Sermon by Carolyn Mahaney that has truly helped me in this area.

Being Self-Controlled

A Crazy Ride

Dropped my laptop on the bare ground in all of my pride last night, but praise the Lord it is still working. In other news Azariah Aideen Samuels is here. Born July 30th in an emergency C Section. Baby is healthy, Marie is fine but in a lot of pain. Please pray for her. I haven't really slept since Sunday...don't think things will change anytime soon. Praying for greater grace :). Wow...I'm a father. Sooo weirrrrddddd!!! The rescue mission begins...May the Lord be merciful to this wretched sinner :)

I'm Amazed at the Lord's ability to take my callousness toward the Church and make me appreciate it beyond measure. He has done this by stripping away members of mines and my wife's real family and allowing the church to take their place. Though this grieves my inner man and requires much wisdom to maneuver through backlash and anger on their part, I am glad that God is sovereign over my sins and ABLE to provide for my wife and I because we are His children. I am also exceedingly amazed that God took this spoiled brat who lived for himself and made him lead, provide for and sacrifice for this lovely lady of mines, and this child. I am not my own nor am I myself these days. Christ literally lives through me. I am simply along for this ride of glory. May God continue to glorify Himself in the shattering of my self. I'm really tired, really stressed, but God is good. In my "apostle Paul" voice, I am the LEAST likely candidate to be a father and husband and those who truly know me can attest to this and give God His due glory.

I must be honest though, since my wife and I started looking at new places to live I've been pretty despondent about life and towards life. In God's sovereignty this has carried over to now and I don't feel much anxiety now that we have moved out of my mom's place and given birth to Aidenn. I thought for sure I would pass out and die when my baby came because it's such a huge change in my life. Everything just feels surreal though, no panic, no anxiety, no psychosis. It's weird though, I don't know how to think of the baby. It's like he's me, but he's not me at all. He came from me, but he is not me. I think it's best described in the analogy of how God created us. We were made in His image, but we are not Him, and He is not us. I want to think that he has the same thoughts as me and the same personality, but he doesn't. He is his own person. When I think like that, I think I begin to think properly though I feel sort of disconnected from him at that point. But I say "properly" because he is not "mines." I am his steward. I am his father but ultimately he belongs to the Lord as do all people who are created by God. Indeed all people are created by God, but not all are His children. Aidenn is my child though, so I will treat him as such and love him as such by the grace God gives me. 

-Tyrell

Answering Tough Questions

Great advice on how to go about answering the many questions our little ones ask.

This was extremely helpful!

Labor And Delivery

Our baby is here!!!

Azariah Aidenn Samuels

6lbs 8oz, July 30th, 2012 at 5:05am

What an experience!!! My husband and I spent July 29th driving a truck and moving our things from my mother in law's house to our new place. We watched a movie and later the contractions began. One moment I was sitting down singing to Hillsong's This Is Our God CD and the next I was screaming my husband's name to come quickly because it hurts so much! Before I knew it, the ambulance was here and I was being rushed to the hospital.

I'm at the Hospital, anxious but trying to remain calm. They took me to a room to answer some questions and in the process of answering I threw up all over the floor. The nurse was pretty upset. Later the doctor came in and we found out that I was 5 centimeters dilated but baby was not making his way down.

As some of you know, I have the Arnold Chiari Malformationan. DBecause of this rare abnormality, I had to be closely monitered while pregnant. They didn't know what to do. They didn't know if they should allow me to push, fearing that pushing would add pressure to my brain.

I wanted to have what seemed like the typical "Christian woman labor" A water birth with people praying and pushing for the joy that is set before me enduring the pain like Christ that I may obtain the prize but now we were told that we needed to have a C-section and that I needed to be put to sleep because they could not give me an epidural due to the abnormality in my brain. We were devistated. We didn't know what to do. We had prayed that the Lord would give the doctor wisdom and this was what he thought was best. We prayed then submitted to the doctors orders.

I woke up to the sound of my little boy crying. I'm still recovering and have to constantly confess my envy to the Lord, seeing that I not only idolized other christian women and was envious that I could not take part in their wonderful experience. After the procedure my husband and I were told that we needed to wait at least 18 months to have our next child.

We know that it's the Lord who opens and closes the womb. We don't believe in taking birth control so we are forced down to our knees again, seeking direction from the Lord.

Proverbs 19:21

Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.

I'm not sure why the Lord allowed things to happen as they did but I know that He is Sovereign over every detail and that nothing takes Him by surprise.

In this life, I continually seek after ease, comfort, a "good" life and yet He comes in and chooses to glorify Himself through my sufferings revealing to me the evilness in my heart.

Praise the Lord for continually shaking my plans and allowing suffering that I may treasure Him above this life, my health and every vain thing under the sun.

By Faith & Not By Sight

Wow... Where do I begin... It's been a long time since I blogged, overwhelmed by our circumstances, it's been hard to find the strength to sit, meditate and write.

My husband and I have been "homeless" since June 17. We didn't see it coming and weren't prepared for it but God knew and He had us covered. We had to speak up in obedience to our Lord about some things taking place in the home where we were staying and as a result we were threatened and for my sake and the life of our unborn baby, my husband and I had to leave. We left all our things behind and headed to church that morning not knowing where we would sleep, not having enough funds or a car that we can sleep in until we figure things out.

We've been attending Capital Hill Baptist Church and hadn't been there for long and yet the believers there opened their arms to us and purposed to pray for us and help us in any way that they could. One couple with 4 beautiful children opened their homes to us.

One more thing I forgot to mention is that her and I are both expecting and our due dates are a day apart. She is due August 10th and I am due August 9th. It was perfectly orchestrated by God, there I learned how to cook a few meals and learned what contractions were! lol My stomach was as hard as a melon and it was hurting and I mentioned it to her just to see if she gets "those" and she explained to me that those were contractions lol. The Lord used them to continually remind us to trust Him in the midst of our storm. We daily broke bread together as a family and stayed up late hours talking about the attributes of God.

Can't forget my sister Jamika who gave us her room to sleep in while we stayed there!

Later another couple opened their homes to us.

They were heading out of town and so they left their house key with us along with the key to both of their cars and encouraged us to eat whatever is there and make ourselves at home as we sought the Lord on what to do.

Later Another young couple offered to drive all the way to Waldorf to pick up our baby's crib since the cars we had weren't big enough to pick them up. That same day, they fed us and drove the crib all the way to Takoma Park! The house where we would be staying.

As if that wasn't enough the Lord also used the mother of one of my students. She lives in the neighborhood Tyrell and I had hoped we would live one day. We took a stroll there the day before our wedding and just admired the beauty of that place. She offered us her basement! for a price we CAN afford in a neighborhood we CANNOT afford to live in. She along with a carpenter named Steve labored and fully renovated the basement! They painted, did stencil work, bought us a brand new fridge along with other things and fully furnished it!!! 

This is so amazing and I know that this could not have happened apart from the Lord moving. What a journey it has been!!! We've only been married 8 months and our Lord has been so faithful to teach us about His character. He has blessed us with the circumstances we've found ourselves in so that we could see Him in action.

There were nights of worry, tears, I saw no way out. I knew only the Lord could help us but spent hours doubting that He would pay us any mind. "why should He help us?" were my thoughts. Our Lord is faithful and He is Sovereign. I hope He continues to remind us of this truth as Tyrell and I continue on this narrow road together. We're suppose to move into our new place today and we are so thankful for the body of Christ coming along side of us to pray for us and serve us. Praise the Lord! God is indeed faithful!

Tears Of Joy!

As you all know, my past sin of fornication tore my husband's heart apart when we were courting. He felt defraud and helpless. The Lord had to strengthen him and help him love me in spite of it all. The gospel was his help, remembering what Christ had done for him along with confessing to the Lord his bitterness and how though he knew the Gospel, he still found it hard to love me.

On my wedding day, I walked down the isle in faith, hoping in the Lord to fully restore Tyrell so that he may love me as God loves the Church. Trusting in the faithfulness of the Lord, I said I do making a commitment to love him until death no matter what.

 I walked down the isle smiling yet filled with questions. Tyrell was smiling, I didn't understand why. I didn't feel beautiful, I didn't feel worthy but I knew that what I was getting ready to do was what I felt God desired of me. I hoped that Ty would heal and love me and my hope was my comfort. I was to shy to look at him and terrified to embrace him for the first time.

We married in obedience to the Lord, knowing that the road would be hard but trusting Him nevertheless. Saturday, June 9th 2012, months after our marriage, we somehow ended up talking about how he views me. His struggle in our courtship was elevating my sin above my redemption and having a hard time seeing me as something to be prized. I thought he still struggled with that. While talking, tears ran down my face and my heart was exposed and he saw the hurt and broken due to what I believed. He gently got up grabbed his journal and began to read to me. It was titled:

"October 29th 2011-The day my life changes forever-marriage"

 It was 1:49am when he wrote it. He wrote about how thankful he was to have me as a wife, he wrote about how much he treasured me and wanted no other. The entry is filled with praises to the Lord for all he had done. Most importantly MY HUSBAND WAS GLORYING IN THE CROSS!!!!!!! HE SAW ME AS A NEW CREATURE! I WAS PRIZED IN HIS SIGHT BECAUSE OF WHAT JESUS CHRIST HAD DONE! It answered my questions and showed me that the smile he had on his face was genuine, my prayer and hope had already been answered. My groom delighted in me and couldn't wait to love me with his life. I was in tears! God answered my prayer months ago and I had no idea! Praise the Lord for His faithfulness in redeeming. I cannot thank God enough. My husband's heart races at the thought of me, he delights in me! Praise God!

Single Men - Biblical Conduct Towards Women

SO TRUE!

 

Awesome TRUTH!

Conformity to Christ

This sermon is really good and sheds a much needed light on what a biblical marriage is. This is the call of marriage and God's purpose in it. Glory to God. Hope it blesses you all!

Some Outstanding Godly Counsel

As you guys know, I was not a virgin when I married my now husband Tyrell Samuels and that broke his heart. By the grace of God, the Lord led me throughout our friendship and I was able to tell him about my shameful past before we entered matrimony. Now that I look back, I wish that would have been the first thing I mentioned to him when we met but the church where I fellowshipped at the time told me that it was wrong and indiscreet to tell people about my past and dealt with me very harshly for doing so in the past.

we grew closer as the Lord was bringing us together and praise the Lord I got to share with him my terrible past but sadly this was after he had disclose his intentions towards me. It shattered him but the Lord held him and with the conviction he had to marry me though still wounded went ahead in faith trusting that the Lord would heal him and help him.

I share all of this to say that I STRONGLY encourage you to be transparent from the beginning. Do not hide past sins whatever it may be and allow people to glory in the cross and see God's redemptive work rather than giving them the opportunity to create something in their minds that is far from the truth. Let's not be deceptive but transparent and may God be glorified for His amazing work!

Let us decrease while He increases pointing to our maker who has reached down and saved us from our shameful ways and made us new creatures in Him. To Him be all the glory and praise forever. AMEN!

A Wonderful Surprise

We just received an awesome surprise in the mail!!! We are so thankful to the Lord for all the precious gifts we're receiving for our little boy ^_^ Praise the Lord.

Along with the gifts, this person included some words of encouragement and bible verses

Under neat the Breastflow BPA Free Starter Set
It says "Your blog has been a true blessing to me. Here is a verse I really like and trust you will too. It is revelation 22:17. Meditate on it."

Underneath the Microwave Steam Sterilizer, it says: "Sanctify them in the truth, your word is truth. John 17:17. May GOD bless and keep you."

Praise the Lord. I had for hold back tears. This gift was so thoughtful and unexpected. May the Lord bless you tremendously in England for your act of kindness! We are so thankful!

Surprise Baby Shower!

I am beyond thankful! The idea of having a baby shower when Ty and I live in a small little room in a basement that can't even hold all our things was an impossibility. I threw that idea out the window and just continued to pray that the Lord would bless us with the things we need for baby's arrival. Without a shower, the Lord had already provided bags of clothes for baby's first year, along with a brand new crib, walker and other important items. 

God not only answered my prayers but made the impossible possible. I had a baby shower!!! There was so much food and the decorations were beautiful! Not to mention people I've been wanting to see for months! What a mighty God we serve! We were also showered with love and more gifts for baby and we are eagerly waiting his arrival. We are so thankful for our brothers and sisters who labored. 

In my husband's Words:

"I'm so thankful to the Lord that I can experience church, and even watch God take care of His children through the church. Where my wife and I have lost a mother we have gained mothers in the church, where my wife and I have lost brothers, we have gained brothers in the church, where we have lost fathers, we have gained fathers in the church, uncles, aunts, sisters. What we have lost in pursuing Christ with total abandon we have gained 10fold. Our Heavenly Father has provided for His children, and He continues to provide. And still, never have I seen the righteous forsaken...or his children begging for bread. May the Lord use us in the same way for others."

Moments Of Anxiety

Yesterday, I found myself sitting in my room, fretting and worrying about Tyrell and I's future. I spent most of the day going from being anxious to praying to being anxious to praying again.

My worries?

We don't have a place prepared for baby when he comes out. We don't have enough money to get our own place. This week is my last week working. Will Tyrell be able to make enough on his own so we can move to a basement, studio anywhere that's big enough for the three of us? What if my water breaks? Where will baby sleep? How would we survive?

As I examined everything and thought about our current circumstances, I got more and more anxious and then I was distracted by our son kicking about in my womb. He was happily twirling around, kicking and enjoying another day that the Lord had given him while I sat in my room fretting about our future.

Can you imagine him saying: "it's dark in here, tight and small. Will my mom be able to push me out? What if she can't? What am I going to do? Am I going to be stuck in here forever? I might die! Lord help me! I have to get out of here!"The thought of him fretting made me chuckle a bit but that was exactly what I was doing.
Why be worried about the future?

Though hard times are upon us, we must continue to put our trust in the Lord. I must follow the example of our little man and be still. Worship God now, be thankful now and continue to pray and wait on the Lord. My fretting will get me no where. When it's time for us to move, the Lord will accomplish His will. I have no control over what will take place in the future so I must not worry but put my trust in a Sovereign God who knows what we need.

I must put my hope not in riches but in the only one who does have control and can save, Jesus Christ.

WHAT IS A HEALTHY CHURCH?

If you are considering leaving the current place you worship and fellowship. I strongly encourage you to read this book first. Very good, Christ-Centered book with lots of things you want to consider and pray about.

Some amazing points from the book:

"The gospel is the heart of Christianity, and so it should be at the heart of our churches" (75).

"The Gospel is not the news that we're okay. It's not the news that God is love. It's not the news that Jesus wants to be our friend. It's not the news that He has a wonderful plan or purpose for our life. The Gospel is the good news that Jesus Christ died on the cross as a sacrificial substitute for sinners and rose again, making a way for us to be reconciled to God" (76).

"You and I cannot demonstrate love or joy or peace or patience or kindness sitting all by ourselves on an island. No, we demonstrate it when the people we have committed to loving give us good reasons not to love them, but we do anyway" (29).

"Music is a biblically required response to God's word, but the music God gave us was not given to build our churches upon. A church built on music of whatever style is a church built on shifting sands" (67).

COURAGEOUS: THE MOVIE

My husband and I watched this movie last night and it was wonderful! The Gospel was clearly proclaimed along with an encouraging message for believers. It was a great movie. I want to own it with our kids one day. You guys should definitely check it out!

Where Are The Boundaries?

We are Closed gardens who belong to the Lord. No one should be allowed to smell the flowers nor see what types of flowers are beyond the gates unless our Lord gives them the key. 

It's so sad, we've gotten to a place where we place limitations on those who should be intimate and yet allow those who are not pursuing intimacy to cross every line. I see so many books on dating and boundaries and have yet to come across one on singleness and using discretion/having boundaries. We encourage our singles to create intimacy with one another, enjoy the emotional blessings of marriage and yet expect a smooth transition when they are being called to marriage.

Here's how this reality has wrecked havoc in Ty and I's marriage.

I had to endure and still endure sisters flirting with my husband in my presence, grab and force themselves on him to hug him as we enter a place and neglecting to say anything to me, treat me very harshly because they felt like they lost something that was rightfully theirs.

This is such a serious topic that is being ignored in the church. 
Singles not knowing that they ought to have discretion, crossing each others boundaries, creating emotional intimacy with other singles of the opposite sex, revealing things that only their husbands should know along with depending on them when feeling sad, angry etc... 

It's not OK to enjoy the blessings of marriage in our singleness with a man who is not our husbands. I didn't understand this truth and partook in it until the Lord called me to marry my husband.

We have been so preoccupied by the "Don't have sex" movement that we have neglected to teach many other boundaries that are just as important. We ought not to cross any lines, we ought not to create attachments that will later have to be destroyed for the glory of God. Let us all fervently seek the Lord about this for this is not about keeping some law of discretion, modesty, purity etc... but a matter of the heart.

Here are my husband's thoughts and word of advice when it comes to this topic.

"Facebook is a fire waiting to consume marriages...especially if you have a past history with many members of the opposite sex. Your brothers and sisters in Christ are the most dangerous if they do not understand their roles as a brother or sister. Things like pet names, facebook hearts, overstepping that persons marital boundaries, and such wreak havoc daily on the security of couples intimacy. It takes much wisdom to not usurp someone's husband or wife in something like a comment on a status. Like the Rock used to say. Know your role...and I would add, be wise in how you speak to someone else's husband or wife. You have NO rights or authority on them aside from that which is outlined in scripture. Perhaps you had some type of unlawful access to them when they were single, but that does not justify you trespassing into their marriage now. Many of my dearest sisters in the Lord have been my most consistent home wreckers not only to I, but to other brothers. I have no legalistic laws to place here, just be wise, and respect the sanctity of people's marriage. If you truly understand what I'm saying, then you will see that this process starts in respecting single people whom you are not intentionally pursuing for marriage. Why have access to someone that will have to be cut when you or the other marry? All of this I have learned the hard way. God Bless!-Ty"

Hating God In My Heart

Did you bite the Fruit? 

Did you buy into the prosperity Gospel and are now finding yourself hating God?

Most would hide this reality but it does happen. Being reminded of the true Gospel, the cost of discipleship, Who God is, who we are along with our true purpose here on earth is very helpful.

Here's an edifying sermon that dissects the reality of the Gospel and reminds me of who God is and why we are here. If you are truly struggling with feelings of hate towards God or charging Him with injustice. Please take some time out to watch and listen. Hope this edifies.

PART 1

PART 2

This Momentary Marriage By John Piper

This Momentary Marriage

CLICK HERE TO GET THIS BOOK FOR FREE!

 

 I just had to share their testimony with you guys. Our God is so amazing. I am so excited to read through this book with my husband and Lord willing a couple of friends.

 

 

Justin Peters on the Prosperity Gospel

Awesome and insightful video on the Word Of Faith Movement!

Our Purpose and calling as Women

The more I cry out to the Lord, longing to be closer to Him, the more He shows me why I need to be close to Him. Marriage is a calling to pour oneself out with no expectations as an act of worship. We women were created to be helpers, we are a gift to our husbands and we need to have our Lord’s perspective and continue to renew our minds that we may be able to see clearly what our purpose and calling is.
As a woman, I sometimes long to be cherished honored and loved but that should not be the basis for praying/begging the Lord for a husband. Instead we should think about our Lord and rejoice in the fact that He is the perfect lover and offers all the things we long for as women and the wonderful news is that He freely offers it to us. There is nothing that we could have done to earn it, His love to us is a free gift! Let us focus on the lover of our souls and seek a deeper intimacy with Him as we long for companionship. Let us renew our minds and get lost in our romance with the Lord. I once read in a book “if we become a necessity to anyone we are out of God’s will.” That made me ponder… It went on further and said, “we ought to be the bridegroom’s friend first. We cannot continue to increase and watch Him decrease, we ought to be magnets that draw others to Him not to ourselves and away from Him.” Immediately I thought about being married and the desires that come with that like being number one, the one he cannot live without and etc.. and it hit me hard! Those desires aren’t Godly. If the Lord does call us to marry, we ought to be helpers to our mates by drawing them to Christ and not ourselves. The call of marriage is a call to daily surrender and self-denial. I have to give my husband back to the Lord every morning. To be consumed with him or have him be consumed with me is idolatry! We need to be running to our God together and seeking to glorify Him in all that we do. A mate is a gift and a blessing how sad would it be to forget our first love and seek to find fulfillment in one another. No man can fulfill/satisfy our longings like Christ. Everything this world has to offer will leave you empty, only what the Lord offers is eternal everything else is temporary, it does not last. Unless we are satisfied with Christ, we will be chasing after fulfillment in places where it cannot be found and we’ll only be left bitter. We must decrease and HE must increase. Marriage is a calling to pour out oneself for the glory of God. To live in a state of Continuous self-denial, putting our mates first to Honor the Lord no matter what.
My beautiful now married sister in Christ Ashley Strickland or her now husband Jeremiah once shared  something with me that I didn't even think about! they said "Marriage does have an expectation, one of love and dedication. Just as Christ does desire and expect his bride the church to love him back, in marriage there is an expectation of a reciprocation of love and service."
This picture gets more and more beautiful everyday! How beautiful and perfect! Our God is good! but yes marriage a beautiful calling indeed!

SIX WAYS OF MINIMIZING SIN

More notes from this amazing book!

SIX WAYS OF MINIMIZING SIN

DEFENDING

I find it difficult to receive feedback about weaknesses or sin. When confronted, my tendency is to explain things away, talk about my successes, or justify my decisions. As a result, people are hesitant to approach me and I rarely have conversations about difficult things in my life.

FAKING

I strive to keep up appearances and maintain a respectable image. My behavior, to some degree, is driven by what I think others think of me. I also do not like to think reflectively about my life. As a result, not many people know the real me. (I may not even know the real me)

HIDING

I tend to conceal as much as I can about my life, especially the "bad stuff." This is different from faking, in that faking is about impressing. Hiding is more about shame. I don't think people will accept or love the real me

EXAGGERATING

I tend to think (and talk) more highly of myself than I ought. I make things (good and bad) out to be much bigger than they are (usually to get attention). As a result, things often get more attention than they deserve and have a way of making me stressed and anxious.

BLAMING

I am quick to blame others for sin or circumstances. I have a difficult time "owning" my contributions to sin or conflict. There is an element of pride that assumes it's not my fault and/or an element of fear of rejection if it is my fault.

DOWNPLAYING

I tend to give little weight to sin or circumstances in my life, as if they are "normal" or "not that bad." As a result, things often don't get the attention  they deserve. They have a way of mounting to the point of being overwhelming.

Are You Performing Or Pretending?

Notes from Book/study "The Gospel-Centered life"

Great Book for Small groups!

Pretending minimizes sin by making ourselves out to be something we are not.
Performing minimizes God's holiness by reducing His standard to something we can meet, thereby meriting His favor.
Both are rooted in an inadequate view of God's holiness and our identity.

Because of indwelling sin, we are prone to forget the Gospel. When we are not anchored in the truth of the Gospel, our love for Jesus and our experience of His goodness become very small. We end up "shrinking the cross" by either pretending or performing.

If we are not resting in Jesus' righteousness, this growing awareness of our sin becomes a crushing weight. We buckle under it's load and compensate by pretending that we're better than we really are. Pretending can take many forms : dishonesty ("I'm not that bad"), comparison ("I'm not as bad as those people"), excuse making ("I'm not really that way"), and false righteousness ("Here are all the good things I've done"). Because we don't want to admit how sinful we really are, we spin the truth in our favor.

If we are not rooted in God's acceptance of us through Jesus, we compensate by trying to earn God's approval through our performance. We live a life on a treadmill, trying to gain God's favor by living up to his expectations (or our mistaken view of them).

To discern your subtle tendencies toward pretending, ask yourself this question: what do you count on to give you a sense of "personal credibility" (validity, acceptance, good standing)? Your answer to that question will often reveal something (besides Jesus) in which you find righteousness.

When we are not firmly rooted in the gospel, we rely on these false sources of righteousness to build our reputation and give us a sense of worth and value. (Think of anything that gives you a sense of being "good enough" or better than others.) These sources of functional righteousness disconnect us from the power of the gospel. They allow us to find righteousness in what we do instead of honestly confronting the depth of our sin and brokenness. Furthermore, each of these sources of righteousness is also a way of judging and excluding others! We use them to elevate ourselves and condemn those who aren't as "righteous" as we are. In other words, finding righteousness in these things leads us into more sin, not less.

Do you picture God as disappointed? Angry? Indifferent? Does his face say "Get your act together!" or "If only you could do a little more of me!" If you imagined God as anything but overjoyed with you, you have fallen into a performance mindset. Because the Gospel truth is that in Christ, God is deeply satisfied with you. In fact based on Jesus' work, God has adopted you as his own son or daughter (Gal 4:7)! But when we fail to root our identity in what Jesus has done for us, we slip into performance driven Christianity.

Performance-driven Christianity is actually a minimizing of God's holiness. Thinking we can impress God with our "right living" shows that we've reduced his standards far below what they actually are. Rather than being awed by the infinite measure of His holy perfection, we have convinced ourselves that if we just try hard enough, we can merit God's love and approval.

Our subtle tendencies toward pretending and performing show that failing to believe the gospel is the root of all our more observable sins. As we learn to apply the gospel to our unbelief to "preach the gospel  to ourselves" we will find ourselves freed from the false security of pretending and performing. Instead we will live in the true joy and freedom promised to us by Jesus.

God's Faithfulness!

Sooo... I (Tyrell) was on the bus on the way to school and I got hungry. I thought to myself  "I could go to McDonald's." I didn't actually want to go though because I haven't been making the best financial decisions lately. Against my better judgement, I got off the bus and went to McDonald's. While walking, I began to beat myself up about how I lack discipline and I prayed to God for help in that area. I knew the Lord forgave me, but I knew that I would still have to deal with the physical consequences of my lack of discipline. I really needed to be assured of God's love for me at that point.

So I went to McDonald's and my food came up to 6 bucks which was way more than what I had planned to spend. My food was good but I kept worrying about my uncontrollable spending. I got back on the bus and went to school, right when I got off the bus there lay a 10 dollar bill on the ground. Everyone was gone from the scene so I couldn't ask who's it was. 

I took it as God saying "Hey, you're my son, I love you. You will continue to make mistakes, realize that I love you regardless, and there's grace for you when you make mistakes. Now go and sin no more." PRAISE THE LORD!!! He gave back more than what I had spent. I got to enjoy my meal and have some extra cash in my pocket. God is good, my Daddy is tight!

 

HEALTH, WEALTH & HAPPINESS

 

I'm currently reading this book and it is so insightful! I'm reading and while reading the Lord is revealing to me errors and things I have believed and still believe because of my encounter with the prosperity Gospel in the beginning of my walk. 

Two quotes from the book:

"Teaching or trusting in a false gospel has eternal ramifications."

"An incorrect theology will lead to incorrect beliefs about God, His Word, and His dealings with humanity."