Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let
us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and
let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and
perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the
cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor
beside God's throne.
Confused? Let me explain. At the age of 13 I begged my mother to perm my hair so that I could be like everyone else at school. After that I worshiped self and was consumed me the desire to be loved and accepted in other words worshiped by my peers. I wanted to seduce men with my hair and body and stir in envy in the hearts of women so that they would wish they were like me. I was very proud and took pleasure in vain things that lead straight to hell. Praise God almighty for snatching me from that path and placing me on this hard and narrow road that leads to life for His name's sake. After Salvation, I continued to perm my hair and don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that perming your hair is sinful. Every time I got a perm, there was the temptation to get in that mindset again. I wanted to be noticed, I wondered whether or not others were envious, if other men noticed and were moved just silly stuff. After I met my husband, he encouraged me to go natural not because he knew of my struggle but just because he was curious about what my natural hair texture was. I agreed, thought it would be fun and so did it. The months after that were the MOST HUMBLING MONTHS OF MY LIFE!!! I woke in the morning and I couldn't just pull my hair up or brush my hair and go out. It took a long time every morning to tame my hair and make it some what presentable before heading out. It was torture, I felt so ugly and unkept. I was embarrassed no longer had my head held up and my back straight longing for the attention of others who I would pass by I was instead wishing I was invisible and was shocked everytime a person addressed me publically. During that time I was also learning about modesty and how my clothes shouldn't expose my frame but cover it so I was looking a mess most days. Not knowing what to wear and definitely not knowing what to do with my hair! Later on that year 2011 it was time for Tyrell and I to marry and so after after 6 months of persevering I gave up and got a perm so that I would feel/look "beautiful" on my wedding day. Too bad I took my insecurities down the isle with me. I had the make up on, a nice dress, my permed hair and yet felt ugly. As the ceremony went on I saw Tyrell and was consumed with anxiety as we prepared to kiss for the first time. Thinking about standing at the altar still makes my heart race with panic as I ponder on the reality that we had to do that publically. Anyway, after the wedding I vowed not to get another perm. I continued with God's help and began to embrace this new life our Lord was calling me to. Over time, I learned to focus on serving our Lord and of course submitting to my husband. It was a very hard and long road but I learned alot about what it means to be a woman of a meek and quiet spirit. I also learned that we women can be loud without opening our lips. We can be loud with the way we carry ourselves, the clothes we wear, the way we do our hair, our make up and so much more. After examining myself and repenting, I finally cut all my permed hair on December 11th 2012. I'm really grateful for God's patience and my husband's support through this transition. I'm learning more about modesty and what to wear to look presentable. I'm also learning what true beauty is and what being meek looks and feels like. Yes there were times I broke down but this was so worth it. Throwing off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, so that I could run the race marked out for me. Not sure what you guys may be facing or struggling with but I encourage you to examine your hearts, pray and lay aside every weight that slows you down, especially the sin that so easily trips you up.
Be Blessed family!
